James Reilly

Point and Click adventures have always had a special place in my heart. I quite like the idea of pacing the game as you go and at their peak you would be hard pressed to find better storylines in video games. Before they practically became Star Wars Incorporated Lucas Arts produced some of the greatest games ever made which, in this escapist’s humble opinion, proved that games could be a legitimate storytelling medium, paving the way for action-oriented games with legitimate and interesting plots like Mass Effect and Resident Evil. As technology became better games got rid of the tediousness, and there was a lot, of making the plot meander along in these sorts of games by replacing the Point and Click games with games where you have an active control over your player character, but there is still hope thanks to Nintendo and Capcom

The DS and the Wii appear tailor made for this kind of thing. This has been evidenced by Telltale’s phenomenally successful Strong Bad series (incidentally Telltale get back to work on Bone and port it, and Sam and Max, to the Wii and the DS). These games are perfect for introducing people like small children and grandmothers to video games without scaring them and giving credence to the idea that not all video games are violent killfests and some of them might actually encourage lateral thought and problem solving skills. Arguably the most impressive example of this is Capcom’s Ace Attorney series, the first (as far as I can tell) legal simulator that actually makes being a Defence Lawyer a lot of fun.

Now before you ask me what could possibly be fun about being a lawyer perhaps I should explain that calling this a legal simulator might be a stretch. Yes you get to defend clients from murder in a court, but that’s about where the similarities between it and any real world court end. In the game you play as Phoenix Wright (or Apollo Justice in the 4th game), a bumbling and amazingly unlucky legal professional with stupid hair who, as a general rule, has to save his obviously innocent client from being punished. This is done in two parts, investigating the crime in question to gather evidence, and then presenting said evidence in court. This adds a few interesting twists to the normal “rub things on other things until plot moves” dynamic by letting you find items in the first “half” of the case, and using them in the 2nd half which takes place entirely in a courtroom. The characters are all presented well enough with their own little quirks (which become vital in the 4th game) and the anime style gives the game a fantastic look and feel, allowing for the characters to be over-the-top and still taken seriously.

Of course, being a point and click adventure the inherent problems of the genre are all there. Evidence which would almost certainly clear your client straight away cannot be presented until the right time, giving you the feeling that you accidentally read ahead in the games story, and for some reason we still haven’t figured out that pixel hunting isn’t a fun way to spend a video game. Some of the cases require you to find things that don’t really stand out on the screen, and sometimes when they DO stand out you can’t add them as evidence until later, when they’ll actually be needed. If you combine this with the fact that The game won’t advance unless you have all the items or information that you need, it’s really quite easy to go on wild goose chases trying to find that single bit of evidence that will solve your current problem. Particularly in the Courtroom scenes where you are actually punished for not presenting the right evidence (being the only way to really lose the game). This can really break flow, particularly when the game is urging you to hurry up with it’s obnoxious, albeit excellent, soundtrack.

Speaking of the soundtrack, why the hell is there no voice acting in the game? I mean outside of a grand total of about 4 statements (which incidentally can be input via the microphone in one of the most fun mechanics I have ever seen), the characters talk in text. This would have been forgiven in the previous version of the games (which were ported from the Game Boy Advance) but considering there was a massive delay between versions, this really shouldn’t fly. Luckily, the game itself is very well written (even if it’s made by Capcom) so reading it is rather enjoyable.

While I could probably go into detail about the four games, they are all basically the same thing. Like Guitar Hero they haven’t done much in the way of changing the mechanics itself, but depend on each game telling a different story. The games themselves all feel pretty similar, and you can essentially jump in to any game and have a good time with them. Any one of the games will give you a decent introduction into what you need to do, and really it doesn’t matter if you start on the first one or the last one. They are all equally as fun, and all have brilliant writing. I highly recommend taking them out for a test drive.

My:
Implies ownership in the first person

Girlfriend:
female partner in a non-marital romantic relationship

Is
Third person form of "To Be"

A
The indefinate Article

Hot
Attractive

Blonde
hair color characterized by low levels of the dark pigment eumelanin

Ninja
a warrior specially trained in a variety of unorthodox arts of war

There’s a saying among Star Trek fans in regards to the movies. Namely, every Odd numbered films suck balls. This was a standard rule of thumb when it came to discussing the matter. Sure, Search for Spock and Generations were certainly watchable, but they just didn’t reach the same level of awesome as The One with Kahn, The One with The Borg and, my personal favorite, The One With The Whales. Then, well, then Nemesis happened. Nemesis, or Star Trek 2: The Wrath Of Khan Starring Picard. It was the 10th in the series, and it ate more cock than that German Cannibal. So, do we assume that the trend is reversed now? Well, Maybe.

Let’s face it, There are a lot of factors ensuring that this movie doesn’t suck. It’s directed by a long time Star Trek fan who has enough crossover appeal to make sure people who’ve never heard of Star Trek (yes, they exist) get a look in too. It’s got cameos from original Star Trek actors and a cast made from the dream of fanboys, what with Spock being played by Sylar and Scotty being played by Shawn of the Dead. The trailer suggests good things to come, and it’s the first new Trek in checks watch 5 years. So can we really just sit back and let Mr Lost make every single one of the insidious and incredibly vocal Star Trek fan very happy?

Of course not, you twit. Star Trek fans are never happy. If they WERE, Star Trek wouldn’t still be here today. It would be buried as another 60’s thing that nobody remembers like, well, I don’t remember. That’s kind of the point. Star Trek has such a massive and loyal fanbase that has stuck by it despite what it’s become. And yet they complain about even the smallest niggling details like Checkov not being involved in the first series and Uhura’s hair not being styled in quite the right way. My next paragraph is devoted to you

SHUT THE FUCK UP. I mean it. If you fuckers ruin this for me, I’m gonna fucking hunt you down and fucking kill you. This is the first prospect of decent Star Trek we’ve seen in a long time and if one more person dares tell me that Eric Bana can’t pull off a Romulan Commander, that person is going to find out what their own Arsehole tastes like! The original series, despite its many, MANY glaring flaws, somehow became the first ever Cult Hit. Spawning four spin offs over 20 years after its cancellation is evidence that no matter how shit it is, and it has been very shit, people still love it. For some reason switching off the fucking TV has never been an option, so for nearly 50 years we’ve had to listen to them bitching over whether Janeway or Dax were hotter.
So, when this movie DOES finally come out, we can expect a lot of “loyalists” complete with Vulcan ears and head ridges firing fucking phasers at the screen at anything they disapprove of, but of course, they’ll still all buy tickets (or torrent it, let’s be honest), watch it, buy it on DVD and create enough interest to create another sequel so we can all do this dance again.

I love Star Trek. I really do. One of my favourite early adolescent memories was joining the Star Trek club when I was 12. My first foray into adventure games was Star Trek 25th Anniversary for the Mac (mental note, find torrent), and I understand that a lot of these fans have had similar experiences with it, I do. And, like all childhood experiences, I understand the rage one flies into when somebody fucks with it, but lets look at some facts here: Deforest Kelly, James Doohan and most importantly, Gene Roddenberry are dead. Very, VERY dead. Star Trek creator, and two main characters, are dead. Your childhood experience is therefore, dead. But, thanks to you vocal freaks, one day hopefully I will be able to take my child to see their first Star Trek film. So, thanks, I guess. Now shut the fuck up, and enjoy the movie.

Random V

1 Garbage, Bad Boyfreind
2 Offcuts, Break it Down James Brown
3 Plastic Bertrand, Saf ram bom mios (Spelled wrong)
4 OK Go, Here It Goes Again
5 Jimmy Eat World, The Middle
6 Love Actually Sound Track, Christmas is All Around
7 Nine Inch Nails, Piggy
8 Weird Al Yankovic, White and Nerdy
9 GlaDoS, Still Alive
10 Bright Eyes, Lover I Don't Have to Love
11 Something Corporate, I Woke Up In a Car
12 Linkin Park vs Jay Z, Encore/In The End
13 Completely stumped again, more J pop
14 Foo Fighters, The Pretender
15 Span, Cut Like Diamonds
16 Airborne, Too Much Too Young Too Fast
17 Span, My Baby's Back
18 Zorba's Dance
19 More love actually concertoes
20 Our Lady Peace, Innocent
21 Muse, Knights of Cydonia

Random VI
1 Span, Stay as You Are
2 Butterfingers, FigJam
3 John Butler Trio, Caroline
4 Phil Collins, I Wish the Rain Down
5 The Whitlams, No Aphrodisiac
6 Hill of Beans, Satan, Satan Lend Me a Dollar
7 Songbird, Eva Cassidy
8 Boney M Rasputin
9 The Redwalls, Frontpage
10 Linkin Park, Somewhere I Belong
11 Stereophonics, Dakota
12 Nickleback, Rockstar
13 Muse, Stockholm Syndrome
14 Matchbox 20, How Far We've Come
15 Belle and Sebastian, Step Into My Office
16 Gabrielle, Sometimes
17 The Waifs, London Still
18 Nine Inch Nails, Survivalism
19 The Whitlams, Thank you

Random VII
1 Radiohead, Paranoid Android
2 Early November, Hair
3 Electric 6, Gay Bar
4 Powderfinger, Lost and Running
5 The Killers, Exitlude
6 Houston Calls, Elephants and Castles
7 Frenzal Rhomb, Never Had So Much Fun
8 Dandy Warhols, We Used To Be Friends
9 Duke Nukem Theme
10 The Cardigans, Don't Blame Your Daughter (diamonds)
11 The Fray, How to Save A Life
12 Eskimo Joe, Black Fingernails Red Wine
13 The City Lights, What You Gonna Do
14 Johnny Cash, Hurt
15 Electric Six, Pulling the Plug on The Party
16 NERD, It's Almost Over Now
17 Tony Bennet, The Best Is Yet To Come
18 Fallout Boy, Nobody Puts Baby In The Corner
19 AC/DC, Thunderstruck
20 Cake, I Will Survive
21 Flyleaf, I'm So Sick

There, that's all of them

Random I

1 The Cardigans, My Favorite Game
2 William Shatner, Common People
3 Lostprophets, Rooftops
4 My Chemical Romance, Dead
5 Hilltop Hoods, Breathe
6 ? its a cover, not the original, the song is With or Without You
7 Scissor Sisters, Take Your Mamma
8 The Classic Crime, The Coldest Heart
9 Matchbox 20, Disease
10 The Cardigans, Good Morning Joan
11 Nine Inch Nails, The Great Destroyer
12 Jimmy Eat World, Bleed American
13 Powderfinger, These days
14 Butterfingers, I love Work
15 Love Actually Soundtrack, All You Need Is Love
16 Taxiride, Creeping Up Slowly
17 The Drugs, The Bold and The Beautiful
18 Weird Al Yankovic, Don't Download This Song
19 The Grates, 19 20 20
20 Powderfinger, How Far Have We Really Come?

Random II
1 Powderfinger, Hindley St
2 Jebidiah Nothing Lasts Forever
3 The intenet is not a bit truck
4 Atreyu, Slow Burn
5 Foo Fighters, Let it Die
6 Weird Al Yankovic, Hardware Store
7 Faker, This Heart Attack
8 Mike Doughty, I Hear the Bells
9 Nine Inch Nails, Survivalism
10 John Butler Trio, Funky Tonight
11 Living End, Who's Gonna Save Us?
12 BannanaPhone
13 Jimmy Eat World, Sweetness
14 Boys Like Girls,The Great Escape
15 The Whitlams, Pretty as You
16 Smashing Pumpkins/Billy Corgan, I dont know the name of hte song tho
17 Love Actually Soundtrack, All I Want for Christmas is You
18 um... some kind of Violin concerto, dunno which one
19 John Butler trio, The Real World
20 The Cardigans, I Need Some Fine Wine and You, You Need to Be Nicer
21 Real Big Fish, The Set Up (you need this)

Random III
1 Foo Fighters, Monkey Wrench
2 Hilltop Hoods, What a Great Night
3 Kisschaisey, Opinions Won't Keep you Warm at Night
4 Reel Big Fish, Don't Start a Band
5 Hilltop Hoods, Circuit Breaker
6 Zebrahead, Your New Boyfreind Wears Girl Pants
7 Cardigans, Love Fool
8 ? Both Sides Now
9 Hunters and Collectors, The Holy Grail
10 Jimmy Eat World, My Sundown
11 Butterfingers, Nothin much happens
12 The Whitlam, Band on Every Corner
13 The Herd 77%
14 John Butler Trio, Gov did Nothing
15 Basement Jaxx, Where's your Head At
16 Matchbox 20, Long Day
17 Harvey Danger, War Buddies
18 Cardigans, Good morning Joan, Again
19 New Found Glory , All Downhill From Here

Random IV
1 Regina Spectre, It Breaks My Heart
2 Weird Al Yankovic, Fat
3 Datarock, Computer Camp Love
4 Strong Bad, Ugly Butt
5 Plain White T's, Let Me Take You There
6 Dido, Here With Me
7 um, its J pop, I've heard it before, but i couldnt tell you what it was
8 Matchbox 20, Bright Lights
9 Sick Puppies, Howard's Tale
10 Span, Don't Think The way they do
11 Whitlams, Blow Up the Pokies
12 Fall Out Boy, This Ain't a Scene, it's an Arms Race
13 Nine Inch Nails, March of the Pigs
14 Buttefingers, Is it Just Me?
15 Flogging Molly, If I Ever Leave This World Alive
16 The Herd, A Walk On the Light Green (I was Only 19)
17 GIrls Aloud, Jump (more likely Love Actually)
18 Nine Inch Nails, Me, I'm Not
19 Whitlams, Fondness makes the Heart Grow Absent
20 this is a stark contrast, whatever it is... its hair metal
21 Muse, Hysteria
22 Beach Boys, God Only Knows

I still have two to do, but i have come to the conclusion that you people can't make coherent CDs

I have a beard now

all i need to do is commit crime with it, then shave it off and blame it on my evil twin

When I was about 12 I saw a fantastic film called "Them" for the first time. It was my first introduction into what would now be called "B Movies". It was, as far as I could tell, a pretty standard 1950'sish horror film about ants becoming gigantic after a nuclear test. Despite its absolutely ridiculous premise and severe misunderstandings of science, biology and possibly script writing, this movie was spectacular. It was this film, and movies like it, that allowed me to enjoy Monsters vs Aliens so much.

Ok, so the film revolves around Susan (Reese Whitherspoon), who on her wedding day was hit by a meteor containing a substance, hereby referred to as Muguffium, that makes her turn into a 50 foot woman. After getting tied down (and has her clothes changed which felt really wrong in a childrens film,) she wakes up in a cell where she meets other 1950's horror movie pastiches. These includes an amazingly stupid Blob named Bob (Seth Rogan), The Missing Link who is a hybrid fish-ape thing from the black lagoon, the impossibly cute but hideously ugly Insectasaurus, who's like 350 feet tall and fuzzy and my personal favourite character, Dr Cockroach PhD (Hugh Laurie, reminding everyone House is actually British). It turns out that the Muggufium that made Susan grow so large is actually a sort of life sustaining element for an alien who blew up his own planet. And he wants it back so he can invade Earth, and it's decided that the monsters are to stop him.

To start with, it's a fairly standard kids film about being happy with what you got, liking yourself for who you are and recognising a jerk when you see one, but you probably could have figured that out from the poster. I know it's a little disillusioning to think that the geniuses that gave us Shrek are now running out of Aesops to shove down our throats, but there its. Of course, if you're watching this film and you're over the age of about 14 you're not going for the message, hopefully you're going to get a laugh or two, and in most cases you will not be disappointed. There are a few jokes which I expect fly straight over the head of the younger generation (The President plays the notes from Close Encounters and ET in an attempt to communicate with the alien droid, and there's at least one breast joke), but even the kids' jokes create a decent giggle, for example The Blob falling in love with a plate of Jelly.

Other jokes however, like The Missing Link commenting on how warm it is being a convenient truth, are too stuck in pop culture to last long after the release date. However, I'm not entirely convinced that that's not intentional. The whole movie is a giant homage to 1950's horror films, made with the same cliches as a 2000's kids film. Perhaps the point is for people to look back on this film in the same way IT looks back at the films it took its inspiration from. Planning in-jokes for future generations is actually a very clever, if even accidental, idea.

The animation on the human characters isn't anything special (with the exception of Bob, who looks amazing) and there are times, particularly in the second or so scene where Susan wakes up, where it's hard to remember that she's supposed to be giant. Most of the doors are conveniently large enough for her to fit through and the like. The soundtrack is reasonable if forgettable and the voice acting is one of the highlights.

So in conclusion I do recommend this film for those of you with kids. It's a decent kids film with enough parental bonuses and an enjoyable script which kids will absolutely adore.

Ok, I've been a massive supporter of Apple for a long time. Before they made iPods, they were at the forefront of computing, creating GUIs and the like way back in like 1984. My dad, the notorious Early Adopter, drilled into my head the superiority of the Mac operating system back in the day. He was right. Ok, so it's been 10 years since I owned a mac, practically a century in terms of computing, and during that time ive used windows machines almost exclusively. However, like falling off a bike, Mac OS X is as familiar to me (albeit a little bit fancier) as an old friend.

It's kinda hard not to get in a massive nostalgic mood. I've been looking up games like Crystal Quest and Warcraft: Orcs and Humans and Where In Time is Carmen Sandiego. Good times walking through Monkey Island with my friends (who would remember what save games with adding another couple of hundred !!!!!!'s to the end of it) I've even named my hard drive Zaphod and replaced the icon with a shot of Marvin The Martian's head.

I loves mah mac

Today is going to be a good day. I know this because right now, I am listening to This Mess We're In b y PJ Harvey and Thom Yorke. whenever songs I love come on the radio at random intervals, good things usually follow. Maybe I will buy my macbook

EDIT
After this morning i have decided that i am never being positive about anything ever again

I personally feel really good about a hell of a lot right now. I'm loving work, I'm loving my house, I'm loving all my new friends (and a few old ones when i get the chance), I'm getting enough sleep, I'm making OK money, it's all going really well